Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Just need to think....

So it's late. 1:25 am in the morning to be exact. I went and ate dinner with mom at the hospital 11:30 for her night shift. I usually stay up pretty late after eating with her cause I just cant eat then go to bed. Nope. So I thought I'd write on here for a bit then try to go get ready for bed and get some much needed sleep.

Today (now yesterday) I had lunch with a good friend of mine from CYT. Shawnie and I met for Mexican then went out for ice cream. It was so good to catch up. Shes one of those friends I tell everything to. She always has some kind of Bible verse or encouraging thing to tell me when I am talking to her about whats bothering me. Well anyway we talked about everything. We haven't seen each other since May so we were catching up on how each other's vacations were, latest news, etc. Well, its kinda funny. We were talking about guys and she asked me about any in my life after she filled me in on her most recent crush. I told her I was over the guy I had a crush on for the longest time. Just happy being single right now, and just waiting for God. She looked at me and said, "You know what? I can't really see you two together anyway..." She paused and I asked her what she meant. She told me she didn't think we made a good match. She just couldn't see us together and was happy that I was moving on. The rest of our conversation, some of the stuff we talked about really made me stop and think about some stuff. Like I said. A good day. The last bit of our day we spent laughing at CYT memories and all the crazy stuff that happened backstage. :-) I'll really miss all my friends when I leave...... But its God will I really believe. Its kinda weird. When I am really stressed I have weird dreams/ night mares. So that is one reason why I am stalling. Been having all kinda of freaky dreams. When I was really struggling with some emotional stuff back in 2006 that is what finally broke me. When I finally would go to sleep all I could dream about was everything bothering me, so I always woke up upset with very little sleep. I just feel like I have more on my mind than I can handle (though I know its not true.) Seeing some of my CYT friends at a friends house made me realize everyone I will miss, and everything I will missing out on. The day I leave is now 10 days away. A week and a half pretty much. Its still sinking in. It all feels so surreal. Also with having a friend living with us temporally is kinda putting my parents on edge a little bit. So I'm getting that from them as well. This is he biggest change in my life to date. Its one thing when friends move away. But its me moving.... yeah. Lots to think about. Its a quarter till 2. I guess I should try to get some sleep.

Always,
Megan Renee