Wow....What a whirl wind week,and the madness continues.
Yesterday I had a meeting for the home-school formal.The girls who are helping me are....ummm...How to put this.Past acquaintances,shall we say.In other words we used to be friends.When they came over the other 4 girls were pilled on my couch while I was perched on my piano bench.We agreed for most of the part but they talked me into setting the formal back till May. So it's like,whatever,but now I have to worry about making sure my entertainment and speaker will be available.*rolleyes* GAG! Now I'm thinking I just want to get it over with.I was excited about banquet,but now.Its going to be one big pain.*sigh* Home-schoolers have a way of doing that to me.
In other light,part of me, hates it. When I had the great volley ball fall out,I still hung around the home-scoolers and took classes, but I felt like the black sheep who nobody liked.That was one reason I joined CYT.I was looking for an outlet with out doing volleyball. The girls had lost my trust and I had lost theirs.It was something stupid that got blown way out of porpotion.That was over 2 years and I'm just starting to re-get in contact with them. Yesterday, when they were piled on the couch giggling and their conversation wandered off to something I didn't get cause I wasn't in the "loop" any more,it slightly hurt. I had to sit and wander if I had regrets about my decisions. If I had kept up with volleyball would I ever have joined CYT?I'm not sure I would of.Cause one thing that drove me to do CYT was I had to get away from the home-schoolers and make new friends.It was too painful to be around them.
In that time I had before I joined CYT my sister and I got so close.We were each others best friends.We had no one else and that was okay.We were always close but we truly became sisters and best friends in those 6 months of being lonely.Also I found something to be passionate about in acting,I found out I was good at stuff I didn't know I was, and I have new friends I would never trade the world for. My parents have friends in the adults of CYT. My parents love being invovled with it as much as I do. My sister had never felt like she fit in anywhere.In CYT she found tons of friends and that she fits in just fine. Mariah,one of the girls said it best."People who don't fit any where else,fit in here." But I still sit and can't help but think life would be like if I had kept my friends here, close to me instead of CYT. I'll never know and a part of me doesn't want to know.
Yesterday when I got to callbacks,Michael was there to help out now that he is graduated from CYT. He asked how my day was and when all I said was,"Rough." He gave me a hug and told me everything would be okay.Other examples,I was not feeling good and very tired. I had several people make sure I was okay. People at CYT truly care about you.
My life has been enriched because of them.I am a better person and closer to God cause of what happened.God has a plan for taking me away from the home school scene.What,I am not sure.Maybe it was to get me to rely on Him, and make me a stronger person.Maybe just to help build my character before I face the world, and wants me to use my theatre experiance for Him, in my life besides CYT.Maybe cause of the people there, and in the end I need to be around them more than the people here in Saint Joe.Maybe there is someone truly special who I would not of met other wise. When my sister left to PA,I had a huge family called CYTers as a support system.They kept me sane.
So I guess,even though I am sorry I lost friendships, as I sit here thinking about waht my life has been like these past 2 years and looking at the photos above,I have no regrets. I wish some things would of turned out different,but I guess no regrets. :-) I don't know what I would do with out these wonderful people in my life.
"A piece of the puzzle,one stepping stone, can only show you a one small part off life's journey."
Always,
Meg Renee
2 comments:
I enjoyed reading that. :) I'm glad you have such a big support system! Your CYTers are kind of like my barn girls. ^_^ I had a big fall-out with my friend several years ago, and I don't think I would have gotten as close to my barn girls if we hadn't had that falling out. So thats kind of similar. :)
Love ya, girl!
And I'm glad you have your CYTers. And us, of course! ^_^
Tina
Wow, practically the same thing happened to me with my homeschool group. Only our homeschoolers were all doing a play, and the parents had a falling out. It was very hurtful at the time, but it lead to me getting involved in our community theater and I met so many great people that way (plus some amazing performance experience ;). Sometimes I think God needs to take more drastic measures to get some of us to move where He wants us. I'm glad that you found such a great group of people to do something as fantastic as theater with!
God bless!
~Trudi
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